Self confidence - a letter to a friend

I respect you for writing this letter and having the courage to reach out, and ask me this question, thank you for the honour.

As to how to further develop your confidence?

 I will give you some suggestions, based on my life experiences, in no particular order of importance, and you have a read. If any appeal to you more than the others, perhaps we can explore this in more depth.

I know now, that increased confidence definitely comes with age, which means that you will just have to wait for this one to come to you, naturally over time.

Self-love and appreciation are key. Celebrate your successes, be kind to yourself, accept praise when it is given, don’t compare yourself to others, only to who you are, and who you were. Appreciate the fact that you are a unique human being on this planet, thereby having unique talents only to you.


Open your heart as wide as it will go, which is limitless, always take risks, reflect and refine, have the courage to say I don’t know, and feel good about that, because it gives you an opportunity to grow and learn more.


Be there for others, and live true to your values, surround yourself with positive people who love, and support you, for who you are. Laugh at life, because we don’t really know what it is all about any way, so we may as well enjoy the ride.

 Do random acts of kindness, because it will make you, and others feel good, which than increases your confidence, exercise and stay fit, this will give you the physical edge, and increase your belief in yourself.

 Always be true to your heart, and your values, because these are two beacons that will light your way and be there for you always.

 Doubt yourself, but only in wonder, not in fear, and what is fear, but another opportunity to grow. Read, read and read, learn by other experiences, try new things and see how you do, not with seriousness, but fun, and a smile.

 Meditate in what ever way that means to you, it could be running along a forest trail, sitting quietly, eyes open or closed, writing, or nothing at all. Always question the rules, because someone else made them not you, and therefore they are up for debate. Believe that you are here on this planet for a unique purpose, and find what this is, and live it to the fullest, because your confidence will soar beyond belief, when you know what you are doing, is what you are meant to be doing.

 Keep a journal and chart your journey, so that you can look back and see how you have grown over time. Solicit feedback from others, and really listen to those that care, and are important to you. From the others, take what value there is, and toss the rest.

 Practice your skills so that you are a Master in your own way, this takes discipline, dedication and commitment, and does not come easy, but with hard work pain, anguish and self doubt. And when you feel that you are a Master, laugh and rejoice, because all that means, is that you have stretched in one direction, and there are still so many other paths for you to explore.


Share your knowledge, your successes and failures with humility, respect and appreciation for the long journey that you have traveled. Go on a vision quest, and look deep into your heart, and your fears, so that you know who and what you are in this life. Find a good woman that supports you, loves you and believes in you, and do the same for her – you will fly together.

 Always ask questions, and have an open mind there is no one-way, only ways still waiting to be discovered. Open your heart to the wonder of the world, the beauty, and the ugliness, and it will open to you, with omens, dreams, synchronicities, laughter, light and love.

 Find good people with strong hearts, and be there for them, building community, and trust, first in yourself, and then others. Be a man of your word, be truthful, honest, and solid and this will build your confidence. Follow your dreams, achieve them, or change them as you go, this will build your confidence.

 Practice looking into the mirror, open your eyes wide, and wonder who you are, and appreciate that human being, for all that you are, and all that you will be, and before you walk away, always smile, chuckle, be a friend to yourself.

Confidence does not come from a book or a course; learn from the most wondrous and merciless master – Nature. Put yourself in situations where you are tested and try to figure out why this was so. Remember that Nature is impartial, honest and true, and that the feedback will be direct, accurate, an immense opportunity to learn and grow, if you take the time. This does not mean physical risk necessarily, but the internal risk of looking within at who you really are, and knowing that you are perfect, as you are, but still have so many ways to grow.

Confidence is an internal source, which is available to each of us, if we know where to look. The elixir tastes like the sweetest nectar that has ever passed your lips, and comes from a myriad of sources, a sunset, a dog’s smile, a connection, a moment well lived, a good friend’s company and on it goes.

 And for each of us this source will be a little different, but in some ways similar. I would talk to others, find out what their well or source is, if they are willing to share, and take a look for your self, and see if some of theirs, works for you, if not, keep looking inside.

 Listen to other people’s stories, and I mean really listen, with your eyes wide open, your mind silent, and your heart bursting with the gift of someone sharing who they are with you. Always give more than you take; never judge, as all of our stories are different and often painful.

Your self confidence, and I mean real self confidence, the quiet steady individual who truly knows who they are kind, is hard won, and takes time, effort, loneliness and often pain.

 Being a true leader with confidence, means that you often pass by what others desire, because it does not resonate with you. It means having the strength to stand alone, with the belief in your values, and what is true to your heart, and to do the right thing, always-no matter what. Confidence does not come from trying, but by doing-living life to the fullest and not sitting on the sidelines. Confidence is very gentle and quiet, and don’t be deceived that it is anything else but, it is not true.

Lastly develop the skill of being able to listen to the wind, and I am completely sincere when I say this-the wind has all the answers, if you know how to listen right. It has never lied or deceived me with its truth, though it has often told me what I did not want to hear.

 And finally, only listen to those that speak to you with their eyes wide open, not guarded, because this means that they are aware, conscious, and can be of help to you on your journey.







Be Pro - what does that mean?

Being pro in your life means that you make decisions not on the easy, and playing the short game. It means making decisions and living your life, with the long game in mind. This often means that we make decisions that delay that instant gratification, and instead do what we perceive is hard - delay pleasure with perceived pain, for some future return.

This blog is an opportunity for me to share with you, what is going on in my life, and ultimately my intention is that it will help you in your life. So, why me, and you?

To be honest it is a choice that you will make, based on myself creating value for you. How am I going to create value for you? In a variety of ways. I am a voracious reader, on average reading a book a week, on a diversity of topics - philosophy, fitness, neuroscience, adventure, leadership to name a few.

I am also a constant science project, trying new things like supplements, training programs, diet, meditation and podcasts, which I will share with you as well. Ultimately I see this blog as being a place where you can go, for help, inspiration and insights and opportunities in your life.

I am also pushing my limits in my physical life, cycling, backpacking, ski touring and at the gym. I will be sharing these insights with you, and also some of the long term "Uber" goals that I have.

I am also very excited to create a dialogue with other individuals who are committed to the process of being the best possible version of themselves, unique and powerful. 

I look forward to the adventure with you.